Examining oneself in the mirror first thing in the morning is never a good idea. Examining oneself in the mirror on the morning of your 35th birthday is just idiotic. Particularly when Aunt Flo has come to call, you’re retaining water like the Hoover Dam, and your celebrity look alike that day is Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley. Does anyone call it ‘Aunt Flo’ anymore? I’m from a different era.
I was feeling worn. I don’t know if it was the neglected gray wires jaggedly rising out of the top of my head, or if it was the horrifying mirror I received for Christmas that magnifies your face 20 times larger than it actually is, but that morning I felt further away from youth then I ever had before. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could hear youth snickering at me from behind the Cottenelle flushable wipes on the back of our commode. My dear husband was taking me downtown for a birthday breakfast that morning, and knowing natural light would be casting its revealing glow on my face, a quick session with my Lady Remington and tweezers was crucial. Satisfied that I no longer looked like Alf, make up was applied, and I turned to my closet.
I sighed as I looked at the line up of jeans on my bed. I only had a chance with a few of them. Lately, buttoning up most of my pants was creating a muffin top avalanche and possibly doing internal damage to my abdomen. You see, it all started after Thanksgiving when I brought half of a leftover cheesecake home with me from a family gathering. And instead of sticking it right in the freezer like a good little girl, I welcomed it with open arms (actually, open mouth) into my life. So for the next few days, I ate sliver slice after sliver slice. You know that skinny slicing game you play with baked goods. Then, as I prepared to slowly julienne the final piece over a six hour span one day, it struck me that I had eaten about 57 billion calories within the last three days. This started a downhill spiral; I had eaten half a cheesecake - why stop now? Hee hee hoo hoo ha ha! Like the potion turning Jekyll into Hyde, it seemed to spur on a ravenous wolf persona in me at parties and gatherings throughout December. Now that the holiday party spreads are finally over, I think I’m on my way to recovery. I made kale last night. There. Take that cheesecake.
So until the kale kicks in, I am stuck with one pair of jeans that are doable, and a dorky pair that seem to expand to the next size and drop its crotch after five steps are taken. Some advice - avoid no name clearance bin jeans (they’re in there for a reason) – and always march at least 10 paces in the dressing room to make sure the crotch stays where it’s supposed to. Do the foxtrot or some jumping jacks. Whatever it takes to test out that crotch. You may get some funny looks, but you really can’t put a price on crotch security. Jeans that transform you into a penguin while you’re walking down the street are just no good. And I will now stop using the word crotch.
Aiding in my efforts to cleanse my arteries of holiday cheesecake, hot pizza dip, and sausage balls, I have decided to cut back on my meat consumption in 2014. I am keen on meat. Meat is my friend. I do not wish to bid it completely adieu, I just don’t want to rely on it so much as a main dish. There are so many delicious and healthy alternatives out there, but it’s so easy to get into the “meat, starch, vegetable” rut when planning dinner.
So I need to tell you about a great product I’ve discovered called Neat Meat. It is an all natural healthy replacement for ground beef made out of nuts and beans. When I subbed it in this casserole – nobody could tell the difference. It was delicious! For the Neat Meat story and where to buy click here.
This is one of our family’s favorite casseroles. I’ve modified it a bit to fit our tastes, and cut out half the amount of ground beef called for in the original recipe. Add a little more pasta, and an extra can of beans if you wish to cut out the meat completely.
Southwestern Chili Casserole
6-8 Servings
In the world of casseroles, this one is on the lighter side, yet still filling. Add chopped jalapenos or substitute pepper jack cheese to spice things up. This dish freezes well.
Ingredients:
8 – 12 oz elbow macaroni, uncooked
1 lb ground beef or 1 package Neat Meat Mexican Mix
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained (or beans of your choice)
1 (6 oz ) tomato paste (important ingredient or it will not thicken properly)
1 (4oz) can diced green chilies
1 tsp salt
1 tsp chili powder
½ tsp cumin
½ tsp pepper
1 - 2 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar or Monterey Jack)
Directions:
Cook macaroni according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large sauce pan, cook beef and onion on medium heat until meat is no longer pink. Add garlic and cook 1 minute longer. Drain and return to pan. If using Neat Meat, prepare according to package directions and sauté onion along with the mixture. Add tomatoes, beans, tomato paste, chilies, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered for 10 minutes. Drain macaroni; stir into beef mixture. Transfer to a large greased casserole dish, or I like to break it up into 2 smaller dishes and freeze one for another time. Top with cheese. Cover and bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. Uncover, bake a few minutes longer until cheese is melted and casserole is hot & bubbly.
On the Side: Serve with sour cream & tortilla chips. A green salad or roasted cauliflower goes well with this dish. Serve fresh cut pineapple topped with some berries and kiwi for color. Enjoy!
Recipe Source: Adapted from Taste of Home’s Fall Freezer Meals.
I was feeling worn. I don’t know if it was the neglected gray wires jaggedly rising out of the top of my head, or if it was the horrifying mirror I received for Christmas that magnifies your face 20 times larger than it actually is, but that morning I felt further away from youth then I ever had before. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could hear youth snickering at me from behind the Cottenelle flushable wipes on the back of our commode. My dear husband was taking me downtown for a birthday breakfast that morning, and knowing natural light would be casting its revealing glow on my face, a quick session with my Lady Remington and tweezers was crucial. Satisfied that I no longer looked like Alf, make up was applied, and I turned to my closet.
I sighed as I looked at the line up of jeans on my bed. I only had a chance with a few of them. Lately, buttoning up most of my pants was creating a muffin top avalanche and possibly doing internal damage to my abdomen. You see, it all started after Thanksgiving when I brought half of a leftover cheesecake home with me from a family gathering. And instead of sticking it right in the freezer like a good little girl, I welcomed it with open arms (actually, open mouth) into my life. So for the next few days, I ate sliver slice after sliver slice. You know that skinny slicing game you play with baked goods. Then, as I prepared to slowly julienne the final piece over a six hour span one day, it struck me that I had eaten about 57 billion calories within the last three days. This started a downhill spiral; I had eaten half a cheesecake - why stop now? Hee hee hoo hoo ha ha! Like the potion turning Jekyll into Hyde, it seemed to spur on a ravenous wolf persona in me at parties and gatherings throughout December. Now that the holiday party spreads are finally over, I think I’m on my way to recovery. I made kale last night. There. Take that cheesecake.
So until the kale kicks in, I am stuck with one pair of jeans that are doable, and a dorky pair that seem to expand to the next size and drop its crotch after five steps are taken. Some advice - avoid no name clearance bin jeans (they’re in there for a reason) – and always march at least 10 paces in the dressing room to make sure the crotch stays where it’s supposed to. Do the foxtrot or some jumping jacks. Whatever it takes to test out that crotch. You may get some funny looks, but you really can’t put a price on crotch security. Jeans that transform you into a penguin while you’re walking down the street are just no good. And I will now stop using the word crotch.
Aiding in my efforts to cleanse my arteries of holiday cheesecake, hot pizza dip, and sausage balls, I have decided to cut back on my meat consumption in 2014. I am keen on meat. Meat is my friend. I do not wish to bid it completely adieu, I just don’t want to rely on it so much as a main dish. There are so many delicious and healthy alternatives out there, but it’s so easy to get into the “meat, starch, vegetable” rut when planning dinner.
So I need to tell you about a great product I’ve discovered called Neat Meat. It is an all natural healthy replacement for ground beef made out of nuts and beans. When I subbed it in this casserole – nobody could tell the difference. It was delicious! For the Neat Meat story and where to buy click here.
This is one of our family’s favorite casseroles. I’ve modified it a bit to fit our tastes, and cut out half the amount of ground beef called for in the original recipe. Add a little more pasta, and an extra can of beans if you wish to cut out the meat completely.
Southwestern Chili Casserole
6-8 Servings
In the world of casseroles, this one is on the lighter side, yet still filling. Add chopped jalapenos or substitute pepper jack cheese to spice things up. This dish freezes well.
Ingredients:
8 – 12 oz elbow macaroni, uncooked
1 lb ground beef or 1 package Neat Meat Mexican Mix
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained (or beans of your choice)
1 (6 oz ) tomato paste (important ingredient or it will not thicken properly)
1 (4oz) can diced green chilies
1 tsp salt
1 tsp chili powder
½ tsp cumin
½ tsp pepper
1 - 2 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar or Monterey Jack)
Directions:
Cook macaroni according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large sauce pan, cook beef and onion on medium heat until meat is no longer pink. Add garlic and cook 1 minute longer. Drain and return to pan. If using Neat Meat, prepare according to package directions and sauté onion along with the mixture. Add tomatoes, beans, tomato paste, chilies, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered for 10 minutes. Drain macaroni; stir into beef mixture. Transfer to a large greased casserole dish, or I like to break it up into 2 smaller dishes and freeze one for another time. Top with cheese. Cover and bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. Uncover, bake a few minutes longer until cheese is melted and casserole is hot & bubbly.
On the Side: Serve with sour cream & tortilla chips. A green salad or roasted cauliflower goes well with this dish. Serve fresh cut pineapple topped with some berries and kiwi for color. Enjoy!
Recipe Source: Adapted from Taste of Home’s Fall Freezer Meals.
