There was a white vinyl curtain hanging in the middle of the room, the kind that's made for a patio door at the beach house. It was creating a wall of sorts between the kitchen and the "bedroom", which was quite literally a bed in a room. I stood there thinking to myself, "I cannot make love in that room!"
Let's delve a little deeper into "that room". Picture with me if you will the largest blue velvet painting you've ever seen, of a lone ship on a moonlit night on the stormy high sea, artfully positioned over the bed - an inch from the ceiling. The bedding was quite possibly made with particles of sand/dirt, perhaps even used for a light sanding project. And while the crazy Aztec pattern on his comforter made my head spin, it was the floor length hunter green lace curtains that threw me over the edge! Hunter green lace y'all! Floor length.
It was final. I would not have sex for the first time in THAT ROOM. I just wouldn't.
It was final. I would not have sex for the first time in THAT ROOM. I just wouldn't.
Being the gracious man he was, my fiancee said he'd change it around and make it more than I could imagine. (Oh, and he wanted to have sex with me. So, it was a win/win.)
After working all day, he would come home and work for hours to turn THAT room into OUR room. Weekends and late nights, visions of preparing a home for two kept him propelled (and probably motivation that only consummation can give). He worked crazy hours creating elaborate beauty from 2x4's and sheets of plywood. Not only did he build a wall, he formed an arched headboard complete with recessed lighting and his/her dimmer switches.
It was outrageous and miraculous. And I understood the importance of making our bedroom a haven of rest. A few months later I included those very words in our wedding vows, "May you find a place of peace with me. May I be your haven of rest from the busy world, a shelter from the arrows of life."
After working all day, he would come home and work for hours to turn THAT room into OUR room. Weekends and late nights, visions of preparing a home for two kept him propelled (and probably motivation that only consummation can give). He worked crazy hours creating elaborate beauty from 2x4's and sheets of plywood. Not only did he build a wall, he formed an arched headboard complete with recessed lighting and his/her dimmer switches.
It was outrageous and miraculous. And I understood the importance of making our bedroom a haven of rest. A few months later I included those very words in our wedding vows, "May you find a place of peace with me. May I be your haven of rest from the busy world, a shelter from the arrows of life."
Everything starts with the bedding, so I searched high and low for the perfect set. Through the miracle of discounts, I found a $1000 Ralph Lauren queen bedding set for $150. (Further evidence of how very much this RL find meant to me can be found HERE.) 11 years later, our children still snuggle under that softness. It was thrilling to prepare a place for us, a sanctuary, a base. Because our bedroom is our base, like a child playing hide and go seek who runs there for safety, and feels magically protected. (Except we are no longer the children - our 4 are always "it" and we're always running!)
More often than we'd like to admit, we want to get away. We want just one weekend of luxury and decadence with no small Legos or children. But babysitters and the cost of beauty elsewhere than home isn't always practical. So, instead of spending my time wishing we could getaway "somewhere" I started making that "somewhere" right here!
As a young girl I remember spending hours rearranging every piece of furniture in my tiny room. I would redecorate and change my bedding. I would raid every corner of our house and put together little vignettes. Think Victoria magazine....on steroids. That small bedroom was all I had in life to call my very own. It was my canvas and I took pride in it.
And then I got married and we had four children and more laundry than I knew what to do with. Every floor needed love and attention and organizing and cleaning and it was all up to me. Piles started to accumulate behind our closed door. I woke up annoyed as I looked around at the things just laying around taking up unnecessary space.
One day I decided to change where I was placing my affection and attention and energy. While I was keeping the rest of the house in order for others, OUR space was falling apart.
And then I got married and we had four children and more laundry than I knew what to do with. Every floor needed love and attention and organizing and cleaning and it was all up to me. Piles started to accumulate behind our closed door. I woke up annoyed as I looked around at the things just laying around taking up unnecessary space.
One day I decided to change where I was placing my affection and attention and energy. While I was keeping the rest of the house in order for others, OUR space was falling apart.
If I take time for nothing else, I will at least make our bed - tighten the sheets, fluff the comforter. (Someone else in this neighborhood agrees!) I love walking into our room at night and having a freshly made bed to slip into. Admittedly, sometimes it doesn't get done until right before I crawl back into it but it still feels welcoming and refreshing. I also keep some linen spray beside the bed and will often give it a quick spritz.
It was my mother who always said that if a bed is made, the room looks and feels cleaner. And since she's owned a cleaning business for over 25 years - she's usually right about this kind of thing. Actually, I'm learning that she's right about a lot of stuff. Like when she use to annoy the heck out of me and wear my Dad's socks "because they were warmer". Guess who was in her husband's socks typing up this article?
It was my mother who always said that if a bed is made, the room looks and feels cleaner. And since she's owned a cleaning business for over 25 years - she's usually right about this kind of thing. Actually, I'm learning that she's right about a lot of stuff. Like when she use to annoy the heck out of me and wear my Dad's socks "because they were warmer". Guess who was in her husband's socks typing up this article?
Let's talk a little about having children in your bedroom. Not whether you are a co-sleeper or not, I'm talking about all their STUFF! Here's my humble little motto: Children are made in here, not made to play in here!
It's not easy to keep all their trinkets out of OUR area, but it sure makes a difference NOT seeing their toys, clothes or books in at least one place in your home. I've come to the conclusion that if I have to store their toys in our bedroom then they have too many toys. Occasionally I will let them play in our room as a special treat, but all they carry in, they must carry out.
It's not easy to keep all their trinkets out of OUR area, but it sure makes a difference NOT seeing their toys, clothes or books in at least one place in your home. I've come to the conclusion that if I have to store their toys in our bedroom then they have too many toys. Occasionally I will let them play in our room as a special treat, but all they carry in, they must carry out.
If you can get anything LIVE into your bedroom then go for it. Not necessarily a purchase either, sometimes in the dead of Winter a few evergreen trimmings will do. I've even been known to cut a few wildflowers alongside the road when I was penniless/flowerless. In the early Spring you can cut some forsythia and force it's buds simply by bringing it into the warmth of your home. Same goes for dogwood or crabapple branches. (May I be so bold as to say that there's something about having fake flowers in a bedroom that takes energy out of the space. They look pretty and some folks might think they're the real deal, but you know they aren't. And since it's your room, what you feel is what matters most.)
Here's a great article about forcing buds if you're interested in doing so, (green thumb disclaimer: you don't need one to follow these instructions). One of my favorite times of year is just around the corner. The lily of the valley come into bloom... just a few buds placed on my bedside table and I can smell them in my sleep.
Here's a great article about forcing buds if you're interested in doing so, (green thumb disclaimer: you don't need one to follow these instructions). One of my favorite times of year is just around the corner. The lily of the valley come into bloom... just a few buds placed on my bedside table and I can smell them in my sleep.
Candles can do magical things. At the end of the day when all I want is to shut out the world, I'll light some candles and simply lay in bed in the quiet with a magazine, a book or Instagram. Even though there's probably something else that needs to be done, (dishes, one more load of laundry, wipe the kitchen floor, something, something, something), I just have to stop. Wind down. Cultivate rest. The flicker of a candle or oil lamp helps immensely with this. It reminds me of the simpler times when people actually went to bed when it got dark.
If you have a favorite collection but you just don't know where to put it, try your bedroom. Let your favorite things and feelings surround and envelop you. Have a picture of you and your partner that you love? Get it enlarged and hang it where you get to see it everyday. A Bible verse or lyric from a song that has been a sanctuary for your soul? Write it large and bold and hang it where you get to see it every morning.
I've typed out my wedding vows and have them taped to the wall beside my bed. Sometimes, (oftentimes) I have to remind myself what I promised that man those many moons ago and stop being a grouch about the stupid stuff. And it's hard to ignore my own words staring back at me every morning.
I've typed out my wedding vows and have them taped to the wall beside my bed. Sometimes, (oftentimes) I have to remind myself what I promised that man those many moons ago and stop being a grouch about the stupid stuff. And it's hard to ignore my own words staring back at me every morning.
If you'd like a little more counsel in choosing paint colors, rearranging your furniture and creating lighting, here's a few things to remember:
Soothing Shades
Stay away from primary colors and go toward more calming and serene shades of blue and green, brown and gray. This doesn't mean you have to live in a pale colored room. Our bedroom is a rich jewel-toned navy blue which creates an incredibly cozy and comforting feel. If you have a favorite color, just try and tone it down a bit for your bedroom. And don't forget your "5th wall", your ceiling! Most people might not recognize it, but our ceiling is a very light blue, in the same family as our wall color just on the other spectrum. This makes for a visually lower ceiling creating even more intimacy in your space.
Stay away from primary colors and go toward more calming and serene shades of blue and green, brown and gray. This doesn't mean you have to live in a pale colored room. Our bedroom is a rich jewel-toned navy blue which creates an incredibly cozy and comforting feel. If you have a favorite color, just try and tone it down a bit for your bedroom. And don't forget your "5th wall", your ceiling! Most people might not recognize it, but our ceiling is a very light blue, in the same family as our wall color just on the other spectrum. This makes for a visually lower ceiling creating even more intimacy in your space.
Creative Storage
Keeping things out of sight will make your room feel larger, calmer and more serene. Getting creative with under bed storage is an option. Shallow boxes can store lots of things and can be hidden well with a large bed skirt. Our bedside "tables" are actually vintage suitcases stored on top of one another, and can store items as well.
Keeping things out of sight will make your room feel larger, calmer and more serene. Getting creative with under bed storage is an option. Shallow boxes can store lots of things and can be hidden well with a large bed skirt. Our bedside "tables" are actually vintage suitcases stored on top of one another, and can store items as well.
Keep the Bedroom Simple
Try to keep only the necessities in your bedroom, a bedside table, a dresser, maybe a comfy chair in the corner. A desk if you have the space. This isn't your "catch all" room and a feeling of clutter can happen quickly especially if your bedroom is small. Try to keep at least 3 feet between any pieces of furniture. Remember, only what you need, (which believe it or not doesn't include your smartphone, computer, or TV)!
Try to keep only the necessities in your bedroom, a bedside table, a dresser, maybe a comfy chair in the corner. A desk if you have the space. This isn't your "catch all" room and a feeling of clutter can happen quickly especially if your bedroom is small. Try to keep at least 3 feet between any pieces of furniture. Remember, only what you need, (which believe it or not doesn't include your smartphone, computer, or TV)!
Natural Light
Throw open those blinds! Allowing the natural light into your room during the day creates a visual haven. In the Spring and Summer don't be afraid to open those windows too, allowing some fresh air to clean the room. At night try to layer your lighting options. Small window lamps or bedside table lamps with 3 way bulbs, even a chandelier over your bed with a dimmer switch. These are relatively easy to install, taking a bright harsh light into a place of serenity.
Throw open those blinds! Allowing the natural light into your room during the day creates a visual haven. In the Spring and Summer don't be afraid to open those windows too, allowing some fresh air to clean the room. At night try to layer your lighting options. Small window lamps or bedside table lamps with 3 way bulbs, even a chandelier over your bed with a dimmer switch. These are relatively easy to install, taking a bright harsh light into a place of serenity.
Haven of Rest
I'm not Catholic, but I love and admire their prayers. One of them is a bedroom blessing. It goes like this:
So may it be with you, dear reader.
I'm not Catholic, but I love and admire their prayers. One of them is a bedroom blessing. It goes like this:
- Guide us waking, O God, and guard us sleeping, that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in your peace. I lie down in peace and take my rest for it is in God alone that I dwell unafraid.
God of the night, may this be a holy and blessed place for all who may sleep here. Here may they know your loving presence, find rest for their fatigue, and peace for their anxiety. May your holy angels guard them, and your continual blessing strengthen them."
So may it be with you, dear reader.
