Before I was 21 I had mourned the tragic death of 7 close school friends. I have seen Mother's weep and Father's crumble. Stood by the bedside of a friend who put bullets in his head, self inflicted wounds to stop the bleeding of life. I have slept on gravesites just to be near what once was. Phone calls and falling knees, hot tears and heart breaks. I have seen rooms untouched for months on end, leaving the mess alone, leave their never-to-be lived-in-again mess alone.
Clinged-to shirts that still have their babies smell on them, dirty from farm work and pungent with cologne. Lift that casket lid for one more kiss, how do you kiss your child for the last time? Shovels full of dirt clinking, hymns rising, teenage boys weeping. Even as I type, I close my eyes and I'm back there, I can see it all, the sea of black clad weary bodies with puffy eyes and broken hearts. Headaches from crying too much. How do you honor a half-lived life? For many, grief was at the bottom of a bottle or the end of a joint, a fight against a God who did not save. For others it was on a hiking trail, deep exploration with their questions by their side. Therapists chair, Pastor's prayer. For me it came in a deep sense of acknowledging this life I am in, the life I have left, the life I have been gifted. I will savor this life I am in.
Clinged-to shirts that still have their babies smell on them, dirty from farm work and pungent with cologne. Lift that casket lid for one more kiss, how do you kiss your child for the last time? Shovels full of dirt clinking, hymns rising, teenage boys weeping. Even as I type, I close my eyes and I'm back there, I can see it all, the sea of black clad weary bodies with puffy eyes and broken hearts. Headaches from crying too much. How do you honor a half-lived life? For many, grief was at the bottom of a bottle or the end of a joint, a fight against a God who did not save. For others it was on a hiking trail, deep exploration with their questions by their side. Therapists chair, Pastor's prayer. For me it came in a deep sense of acknowledging this life I am in, the life I have left, the life I have been gifted. I will savor this life I am in.
Marinate in it. Let it wash over me and through me and around me and in me. I will capture it and taste it, one bite at a time. I will, above all, celebrate it. I will do what my friends no longer can. I've heard others say over the years how much I enjoy life, how I capture it and spread it and fling it wildly about. And truly, they could say no greater thing.
We all know that life is hard. Life is no joke. Sometimes it's terrible and awful and unfair and weighty. It's glorious and mundane. Holy and hard. Heaven and hell all mixed up. We are where we are, so be where you are. Dip into the colors that are your life as you know it because it's yours. Dark yet lovely. Your life is a masterpiece. A brutaiful, (brutal + beautiful) masterpiece.
I believe that there are tsunami years and lying-on-hammock years. There are months of calm & months of cold, wet seas with shredded sails. Life is not easy, but it was meant to be LIVED. "Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, God will open a door for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us. " (A.J. Cronin) Although our circumstances and hearts are all at difference places, our senses connect us as humans. Even though we may be in a dark place, we have light shining out of the ordinary. Here are some of the practical, everyday ways I've found most helpful in using our senses to capture this sneaky little thing called a well-lived life:
We all know that life is hard. Life is no joke. Sometimes it's terrible and awful and unfair and weighty. It's glorious and mundane. Holy and hard. Heaven and hell all mixed up. We are where we are, so be where you are. Dip into the colors that are your life as you know it because it's yours. Dark yet lovely. Your life is a masterpiece. A brutaiful, (brutal + beautiful) masterpiece.
I believe that there are tsunami years and lying-on-hammock years. There are months of calm & months of cold, wet seas with shredded sails. Life is not easy, but it was meant to be LIVED. "Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, God will open a door for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us. " (A.J. Cronin) Although our circumstances and hearts are all at difference places, our senses connect us as humans. Even though we may be in a dark place, we have light shining out of the ordinary. Here are some of the practical, everyday ways I've found most helpful in using our senses to capture this sneaky little thing called a well-lived life:
If you can SMELL, why not be smelling something nice? Buy some plug-ins and make your home smell good. Find a perfume you love and wear it all the time, not just for special occasions. Life is too short not to use the good stuff. Buy a quality room spray, (I say quality because the smell diffuses better and last longer if it's good quality). If you have guests coming over or need a pick me up, spray a few puffs in the air, it's amazing how it can make everything seem a bit more clean! I likehaving some beside the baby powder so when there's a nasty diaper I can pretend it never happened! Encourage your children to notice smells. A cut lemon, crushed garlic, meadow tea leaves, the lotion on your hand. Help them smell the life around them. Let them pick out a lotion or body wash that they can use when they take a bath. An inexpensive way to make them feel special. I have smells that, to this day, can transport me back in time. I wonder what my children's childhood will smell like!
Look around you, really LOOK. Make eye contact with those people you meet throughout the day. Look at the checkout ladies nametag and use it. Thank him/her personally and don't be surprised if they ask how you know them! It's so rare for people to notice others, let alone take the time to be personal. Look up from your plate of hot food and truly thank the waiter or waitress. Bring your kids close, get down to their level and look at them right in the eye. Tell them you love them. Try it with your spouse too, not just a "love ya". I want to stop my life long enough to connect with my gaze. Light a candle in the morning just because you can. If you're just around home you'd be amazed at how the flicker of a candle is pleasing to your eye and your soul, (and it smells good to). Don't be afraid to spend a little money on your next candle purchase. It will burn better, last longer and smell more poignant.
Whip cream on your coffee in the morning? Sure, why not? You're an adult now and get to do what you want! Add some good cinnamon,(Costco's Kirkland brand is my favorite) and you've got your own little TASTE escape.
Make a little extra food at dinner and take a plate-full to your neighbor, just because. When you're at the grocery store and have some extra money, buy a frozen meal or a quick prep meal, call a friend on your way home and tell her not to worry about dinner!
Use the "good dishes" for everyday! Don't have any good dishes? Try Goodwill or Grandma's attic, garage sales or auctions. There are thousands of plates begging for a second chance at life! If they break, there's always more. My Mother collects beautiful dishes and according to her "food tastes better if you eat it off a pretty dish!"
Let your children help you in the kitchen, not everyday and not with complicated stuff, but involve them. Let them help put the groceries away or place the apples in the fruit drawer. Give them "taste bites", (as we call them) while you're making dinner. Let them cut their own banana into slices with a butter knife, (and see how proud they feel)! Let them pour the cereal into their bowl, (and pour the milk too if you're brave). Teach them how to help themselves...which in the long run, helps you! Just like with anything, if you can take the time to teach them, they will take the time to learn! My Mother always said that children can do more than we think they can, we just have to be willing to let them do it!
Make a little extra food at dinner and take a plate-full to your neighbor, just because. When you're at the grocery store and have some extra money, buy a frozen meal or a quick prep meal, call a friend on your way home and tell her not to worry about dinner!
Use the "good dishes" for everyday! Don't have any good dishes? Try Goodwill or Grandma's attic, garage sales or auctions. There are thousands of plates begging for a second chance at life! If they break, there's always more. My Mother collects beautiful dishes and according to her "food tastes better if you eat it off a pretty dish!"
Let your children help you in the kitchen, not everyday and not with complicated stuff, but involve them. Let them help put the groceries away or place the apples in the fruit drawer. Give them "taste bites", (as we call them) while you're making dinner. Let them cut their own banana into slices with a butter knife, (and see how proud they feel)! Let them pour the cereal into their bowl, (and pour the milk too if you're brave). Teach them how to help themselves...which in the long run, helps you! Just like with anything, if you can take the time to teach them, they will take the time to learn! My Mother always said that children can do more than we think they can, we just have to be willing to let them do it!
Did you know that over 1/3 of our life is spent in bed? I realized one day, (after having a newborn and fanaticizing about sleep) that if you sleep 8 hours per night you will have spent over 240 hours in bed in one month alone! If possible it would be great to be sleeping on soft sheets and down comforters, the FEELING is like none other. If you think about it, (and I'm obviously speaking first world issues here) sleep is such a gift and when you can crawl into a luxurious bed it's like unwrapping the present all over again every night! When I met my husband he was living in an apartment sleeping on what I affectionately called his "sandpaper sheets". For our newlywed bed I saved and splurged on an entire bed set from Ralph Lauren, we've used it for over 10 years now, (until the sheets ripped in two)! High thread count sheets cost more up front, but they are an excellent investment and the return is high! And the more you wash them, the softer they get!
Music, how do I thee, let me count the ways! I choose music the way I choose clothing. If it fits well and feels good, I'll HEAR it. Work doesn't feel like such hard work if there's good music to listen to. Pain doesn't cut so deep when there's the healing balm of worship over it. "All creatures in heaven, on earth, under the earth, and on the sea, and all that is in them, were singing..." Revelations 5:13 (NIRV) Here's my Pandora playlist if you want somewhere to begin. Light a candle, dim the lights at dinner and play some music, it might even make your food taste better! I think it's a gift to expose your children to different kinds of music, not just on the radio, but in person, in concert. Especially during the Summertime, there are many free concerts in most places in America. Music touches our soul!!
And lastly, this video is worth every minute of your time. You have precious minutes in the day and I promise you, you will not regret spending them here. I am thankful for you, Neighbor, for the time you take to read here and be here. And I hope today that your senses can show you how beautiful your life truly is!
And lastly, this video is worth every minute of your time. You have precious minutes in the day and I promise you, you will not regret spending them here. I am thankful for you, Neighbor, for the time you take to read here and be here. And I hope today that your senses can show you how beautiful your life truly is!
