Neighborlies
  • Home
  • Contributors
    • Jeane'
    • Heather
    • Kristen
    • Jen
    • Michelle
    • Janelle
    • Jessica
    • Terri
    • Carla
    • Melissa
    • Nicole
    • Guests

Unplugged

7/13/2013

13 Comments

 
I recently wrote this to a friend in regards to this month's article, "I started writing but can't get my thoughts together!! They're so ALL over the place. Apparently writing about being uninspired and wanting to go unplugged takes inspiration to write. My life is one plagued with irony....I've got pieces of sentences but it's not coming together....My mind is this swirling vortex of anxiousness and over-thinking...."

And by recently, I mean a few hours ago.  It is Friday.  And this article that I am currently typing and that you are currently reading is going to be published in a few hours.  

But I shall type on, knowing that all of us Neighborlies are about keeping it REAL and HONEST.  And honestly?  These thoughts will come out as a jumbled mess.  But I'm hoping you're able to reach into the swirling vortex and pull out a bit of clarity.
Picture
Right now, my life is like a Merry-Go-Round.   I see a pretty horse and I know that’s the one I want to ride.  But after I get on, I see another that’s prettier and shinier so I change horses.  But as the ride starts, the person beside me points out another horse and its benefits and says that THAT’s the one I should be on and so I switch.  But my neighboring horse-rider says that I need to be riding this one AND the one on the other side… and so on and so on.  All the while I’m going in circles and getting nowhere.

I’m stuck on this Merry-Go-Round in a swirling vortex where I’m constantly switching horses and am getting really dizzy and oh-so-very tired.  My mind?  It's a cluttered mess.

I need to get off the doomed ride before I’m flung off and land on my head.

It seems there is always a different horse to ride. There's always an email to read, a FB status to update, a personal blog post to think about writing, Google+ to investigate, TV shows in my Netflix cue to watch, a Photoshop tutorial to watch, research to be done on the best way grow a small business and how to promote my personal brand, research to be done on how to discover what my personal brand even is,  figuring out the best way to promote my personal self as part of personal brand, my Bible to devour, a new issue of AFAR magazine to read, a new recipe to try, an extra workout to fit in, a friend that I desperately want to catch up with… and the list goes on and on. 

There's so much vying for my attention that I can't even concentrate on the simple things – like reading a book, calling a friend to chat, praying with my spouse.  True, I can do all those things, but I’m finding it hard to concentrate on JUST that moment because of all these other ‘horses’ that are swirling around and are begging for my attention.  Why is it that I HAVE to immediately check my email on my phone when the little "1" pops up beside email icon to show that I have new message?  It's obviously because it could be a matter of life and death, and if I waited to check it then the whole world could crash into itself.  

I’ve lost my joy and my sense of self.  I have spent the past few months feeling uninspired as a photographer and overwhelmed in life and have lost the "me" in me.  I’m attempting to live up to what I think others’ standards are of me and what I think I need to be doing because it's what others are doing and frankly, I’m getting beat down because I just can’t measure up.  
Picture
And so, because my head is so cluttered, I feel like I need to take drastic measures. 

I'm going unplugged.

And I'm starting next Wednesday.  {Is it sad that I had to actually look at my calendar to figure out the best time to do this?  *sigh*}  

No TV, movies or Netflix.  No FB, Twitter, Google+ or Instagram.  No computer and no email.  No playing games on my phone.  I'll actually use my phone ... are you ready? ... as a phone!  I know - shocking!  I remember our first cell phone {we had 1 between us} and it didn't even have a texting option!  I'm pretty much going back to my life as it was when I was in 8th grade.  Just with better hair. And with contacts instead of glasses that covered my cheeks.

I'm going to take time to breathe.  I'm going to read my Bible - really read it - without thinking in the back of my mind, "I have to read that article entitled '50 Marketing Tips for Photographers' and figure out a game plan today."  And I'm going to read my issue of AFAR Magazine without checking FB every few pages because my computer dings.  And I'm going to take my camera out and shoot without thinking about who is or isn't going to like it.  And I'm going to call a friend to chat instead of sending a FB message.  {I'm also realizing that this means that I have to cook because I will have absolutely no excuse.  Darn!  Maybe I should keep thinking this through....}

I going to get off the Merry-Go-Round.

I realize that unplugging for a period of time won't solve everything.  But it's a start.  And I have no expectations as to what will happen when I start to plug in {a little at a time} again.  But I'm looking forward to clearing my mind of all the clutter.
Picture
13 Comments
heather buckwalter
7/12/2013 10:34:35 pm

not jumbled at all! perfectly clear. pray that God meets you in this place of being unplugged! may you find more contentment and less comparison and freedom to be YOU! blessings, heather :)

Reply
Michelle link
7/13/2013 07:43:42 am

Thanks so much Heather for your comment and your prayers! Blessings to you!

Reply
Shelly link
7/13/2013 12:47:26 am

I know how it is . . . except that my "horses" are different topics and areas of interest . . . but it all ends up being the same "swirl" if we're not careful to keep focused on the things that really matter, and cut, cut, cut back on the rest. Thanks for sharing, Michelle!

Reply
Michelle link
7/13/2013 07:44:29 am

Thanks my dear! I'm excited to cut, cut, cut! :)

Reply
Ken Stewart
7/13/2013 07:09:23 am

I experienced that so much yesterday while trying to write that I emailed Barb and told her to tell me to focus. She replied with an email that said FOCUS!!! and included a picture of her. That didn't help at all....:)

Reply
Michelle link
7/13/2013 07:46:32 am

You crack me up Ken! Barb is a beauty, so it doesn't surprise me that she's such a distraction for you! :) {I hope you got at least a few words written...}

Reply
kim a
7/13/2013 01:30:34 pm

Love it, Michelle! I can SO relate!
I am amazed how much clearer my thinking was yesterday when the power flicked off and the computer turned off with it! (I didn't bother to turn it back on!)

Reply
Michelle link
7/14/2013 03:38:32 am

You didn't turn the computer back on? Awesome! :) I'm looking forward to clearer thinking!

Reply
That's great!
7/14/2013 04:18:50 am

I know I thoroughly enjoy the days I don't even turn on my computer and only look at my phone when it rings. I think with age comes the maturity that centers yourself on who you really are and not what you think everyone else wants you to be. You quit worrying about what other people think of you and just be yourself, the yourself God wants you to be! Maturity at its best! Way to go, sweetie.
Aunt Sherry

Reply
Michelle link
7/15/2013 06:53:04 am

You're so wise, Aunt Sherry - I must take after you ;)

Reply
I feel like I've been living your life just now. It's hard when you have so many options to make a decision. I'm sure you won't regret being unplugged.
7/15/2013 08:56:28 am

Reply
Michelle link
7/16/2013 08:34:22 am

Thanks for commenting - so sorry you're in this too! I'll be praying for you as I unplug ... I think you should try it too - and let me know the results! :)

Reply
Heidi Zimmerman
7/17/2013 03:14:43 am

I guess it is Wednesday as I am reading your story and you are already unplugged...you go girl. If you do read this, just know that it is not always technology that steels your joy and time. I find myself being very frustrated that I can't figure out how to post my recent travel pictures to a facebook page with out my daughter's help and even electronically uploading them to costco for printing is overwhelming. I know techno-savy folks would just leave them in a cloud, but I like to scrapbook them...and yet I haven't gotten to the trip to China 2 years ago yet...I am at least 16 countries behind in memory chronicling! So what is more important??? Beating yourself up over not doing what you think is expected versus just going out and living life and discovering a few more countries and filing some mental notes and taking beautiful photos that you can come back to at some point in your life when you can't physically,financially or mentally do it anymore?

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Michelle

    Picture
    Michelle is a Lancaster, PA-based photographer who is a lover of Jesus, her husband of 14 years, all things Italian, pretty things, Anthropologie, AFAR Magazine, travel, super strong espresso, watching TV, and a few more things she's embarrassed to admit! As a photographer, she has been recognized by the New York Photo Awards as a finalist and has won several Honorable Mentions in the Int'l Photo Awards.  A number of her photos have been seen on various blogs and in books.  She shares her photos at italianlane.com