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Do Hermes & Gucci Sell Fanny Packs?

6/22/2013

4 Comments

 
MICHELLE WRITES...

My sweet 13-year-old niece lives in MN.  Since we don't see each other very often, we make it a point to have a Girly Date when we're together.  A few weeks ago we made a plan to go to King of Prussia mall and spend the day going into fancy stores and trying on hundred dollar sunglasses, thousand dollar shoes, and diamonds that are bigger than our fingers.  Sounds like a pretty fun day, right?!

It was soon after we had this plan in place I found out that our Neighborlie Sisterhood was going to be based on an oh-so-lovely Fanny Pack.  The thought passed through my mind that it would be fun to wear it to the Mall! And since I voiced that thought to other Neighborlies ... I had the Fanny Pack {aka, The Loveliness} in time for our little trip.
I was excited...
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... she was not!
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We walked out of the private-ish hallway where I had put on The Loveliness, and entered into the public.  I swear, every single person was staring at me.  And I mean, why wouldn't they be?  Obviously, they were all jealous because they didn't have The Loveliness around their waist!  Honestly, it was SO awkward.  I normally hold my purse on my shoulder, but now that I didn't have a purse, I didn't know what to do with my hands!  Should I rest them ON The Loveliness, drawing even more attention to myself,  or let them hang by my side, swinging awkwardly?  One thing was for sure, I was not going to walk arm-in-arm with Maddie, as she was walking a few feet to my right!

"Aunt Michelle... do you have to wear that?  Are we really going to go into a fancy store with it?" 

"Mads, it'll be fun.  I promise!  Trust me!"  
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Our first stop was Hermes.  We walked past the large, tall man wearing a fancy suit, and went straight to the counter.  Pointing to The Loveliness around my waist, I inquired if they had any Fanny Packs.

"Um, I'm not sure ... Do we have any Fanny Packs in stock?" she asked her co-worker.  "I don't think we have any in the store currently.  I'm sorry" she replied.   At first I thought she was just being polite, not wanting me to feel silly for asking about Fanny Packs in a super-fancy French shop!  But when she proceeded to tell me that they might have some in next week and to check back then... I started laughing and said, "Are you serious?!"  {FRIENDS, HERMES SELLS FANNY PACKS!!}

I proceeded to explain why I was wearing The Loveliness.

She was not amused.  

Friends, I had just unintentionally insulted the Hermes Lady!  Epic Fail!

We walked around the store, in an futile attempt to save face, and then slipped out quietly.  Sweat was running out of every pore in my body from the uncomfortableness, but I told Maddie that I wanted to try one more store.  THIS time, I would not laugh.

We walked next door into Gucci where I asked the same question.  Within a few minutes, a Kind Young Man came back holding two options!!  GUCCI SELLS FANNY PACKS!!  He told me what colors they came in, and I said I'd like to try on the pink one.

And so I did.  Without laughing. 

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{Can I just say that there is nothing flattering about a fanny pack on me?  Even when it's Gucci. And even when it's on sale for $375.}

I looked it over closely, unzipped it and such, and told the Kind Young Man that I wasn't going to purchase it today.  I put The Loveliness back on and walked out of the store, head held high and dripping with sweat.

Maddie informed me that the Kind Young Man was laughing with his co-worker ... I'm glad I could help him have a better day, you know?

We were headed towards Tiffany's when Maddie asked me quietly, "Are you going to wear it in there?"  "No, we're done with it."  "Oh good" she said with a smile, "That was very awkward!"

I still can't believe it... Hermes & Gucci have fanny packs!  I honestly thought these went out with scrunchies and leg warmers.  This experience did not go at all like I had expected!  But at the end of the day Maddie said she really did have a good time, The Loveliness and all!  And that's really all that mattered!

4 Comments
Jeane`
6/24/2013 11:34:17 am

ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!!!!!!! I read it to Curt, I was laughing so much, and like the stingy old Hermes lady, he was not nearly as amused as I. ;)

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Michelle link
6/25/2013 08:02:52 am

Glad you loved it, Jeane'! I can totally hear you reading this outloud, and using people's 'voices'!

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kim a
6/25/2013 12:55:41 pm

This is great!

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Terri
6/28/2013 11:34:53 pm

Every week I read the FP updates with horror...knowing that it will soon show up at my door. I am a total whimp at being in the spot light and I HATE being embarrassed. {To which I am reminded that the creator of this little gig is neither of those things!} I can't help but hope that she runs into Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum or the President when she goes out in public in the FP. You did good, Michelle- way to take one for the less-than-100%-Sanguines on the team!!

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