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Loving the Least...

2/14/2014

10 Comments

 
The majority of my week is spent at work, in a Pregnancy Resource Center in the city. There are never two days that are alike, and never, ever anything that resembles predictability. Every day challenges me, and stretches me, and requires more than what I naturally have in me to give. Sometimes more than I think I want to give.

We have several homeless, pregnant clients right now. It's painful to hear their stories and watch them leave, knowing that they will wander the cold streets until dark when the shelter opens back up. But while we have them there, we do our best to offer some items they need for their babies, practical advice and words of encouragement. We talk about what got them there and what they can do differently so that the cycle does not continue to be repeated and result in more and more pregnancies. Sometimes they listen; and sometimes they just tell me what I want to hear. We teach them parenting skills and how to respect their bodies.

I am haunted by one of our moms who delivered her baby the other day, only to have it taken from her because she is homeless. She will leave the hospital alone, with breasts that are lactating, and incisions that need rest in order to heal- neither of which she has the ability to do anything about.   
Our local paper recently featured  another homeless, pregnant woman who has found temporary shelter at the YWCA. The woman was honest about the addictions that caused her to make the bad choices that resulted in her homelessness. She was grateful for a place to sleep and the people who were generously helping her to get back on her feet. Her story echoes the stories of other young women I know. But what gripped me the most was not the article as much as it was the comments from the public that followed. I was shocked at the cruelty hurled at this young woman. Hatred even.  We need to take a good look at what we value in our society. And if we are not placing people at the top of the list, then I think it's time we reevaluate. 

There are ways to help that don't just Bandaid their needs, because the goal is to guide them back into becoming a healthy, valuable self-sufficient member of our society. But getting her there might just take some sacrifice of time and love, and even resources. And it might inconvenience us a little in the process. 

I learn new things every single day about how other people live. I’ve heard some of the most heart-wrenching stories. Stories of abuse, neglect, desperation, poverty, indifference, addiction, rejection, pain, fear and homelessness. Stories of pain that started early in their childhoods. Sometimes the women sharing them feel hopeless and defeated. Sometimes they are dirty. And sometimes they don’t smell very good. Sometimes they carry diseases. Sometimes they are addicts - addicts of sex and substances and self. Sometimes they’re addicted to believing lies about themselves. Sometimes they have no idea that they are not okay. And sometimes they hate who they’ve become...but pretend they don’t care.

There are always reasons behind their behaviors and their circumstances. Reasons behind the years of self abuse and lack of desire to change. And while I have my own thoughts about how we should help someone who has made significantly poor life choices, I would never dare to think that she is not valuable enough to receive hope and encouragement and love. Most times the scared girl in front of me just wants to be rescued. Wants someone to tell her "you can do this". And wants someone to tell her she’s still got good in her- that she still has value to offer the world..to offer her child. She wants to know she is important. That there is still hope for her life. Sometimes she just wants someone to help her make healthier choices and to cheer her on towards better things. Like all of us, she just wants someone to care.
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Most days I pray myself to work.  Literally. I pray for enough patience and compassion and love and grace to extend to whomever walks through our doors. I pray because I don’t have enough of any of these things.  I pray for words to say when I cannot find any. And I pray because I’m guessing that, for the majority of these girls, no one has ever cared enough to pray for them. And the reality of that is painful. And this act, of asking for what I do not possess inside me, compels me to care about someone besides myself. It compels me to LOVE, because I have been given love and I’m obligated to give a portion of what’s been given to me...even when it’s hard.

“My bones seem to cry out knowing 
that you have not been properly loved today.”
T.B. LaBerge 

And, really, all of us have that same moral obligation; to love other people- even the hard people- because we can. And we should. And because it is the right thing to do. But not just that it is something we DO, but really, that it becomes who we are. Love should define us.

We come in contact with people daily who just need to be loved. To be seen. People who find themselves at a place of desperation they never dreamed of; who have no one to turn to - no one to walk alongside them. No one to speak life into them. The lonely, widowed neighbor. And the elderly woman at Walmart. Or the overwhelmed mother of a special needs child. A teenager who is struggling to fit in, to feel loved. The single mom. And the mentally ill adult. Someone with chronic pain or illness. The drug addict. The alcoholic. And the guy who stands on the same street corner every day, begging; hoping. Someone who just never, ever has a good day.

Do we see them? 

We don’t have to agree with why they are the way they are, or how they got there, but can we see them for who they were intended to be? Can we look past the dirt or the stench or the bad attitude long enough to see someone who matters?  Can we stop long enough to offer kindness and love them for who they are today?

Sometimes loving them looks like making a hot meal or giving a new coat. Sometimes it means offering a ride to an appointment. Or raking leaves. Or listening to their stories. Again. Sometimes loving means finding the right resource for them- someone equipped to help them long-term. And often it means just offering up a word of encouragement because they are love-starved.

We might we get our hands dirty, and we might cry, or get frustrated, or feel overwhelmed or unappreciated. It might hurt. But isn’t it better to be broken and dirtied by the ugliness of someone else’s world than to turn the other way and hope someone else deals with it? It is in the emptying of ourselves for the benefit of someone else that we learn what we are really made of. 
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We need to open our eyes. We need to stop looking away from what is unlovely and just do something for someone who needs us. And then we need to repeat it again for someone else.

What if it were your child…

Or your mother….

What if it were you…

Wouldn’t you want someone to look into your eyes and really SEE you? Wouldn’t you want them to care enough to reach a hand to you and offer help? Wouldn't you hope they would stop seeing you as different, but rather, see you as the same... 

What if we all decided that instead of spending our one life loving ourselves more, we spent it loving the hard-to-love more? What if we taught our children to be a generation that loves, instead of ignores. One that gives, not hoards. What if we taught them less about entertainment and entitlement and more about self sacrifice and compassion?

When we love, we love out of obedience, but we also love because it draws us closer to the heart of God. And when we are loving the “least of these”- whomever they are-we are really loving God. And loving God compels us to love ourselves and others more. It’s a cycle- a good one. And it creates a culture that respects and values each other more and more. And even though I know that it's not that simple- that there is more to it if we really want to have a culture that runs as it should, I still like how it sounds. And I still think it's a good idea. 

And I know that it all starts with me...because love without action isn't really love.
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If you're looking for a good book to challenge the way you see other people, here's a suggestion. 

10 Comments
Boni Henry
2/14/2014 10:07:22 pm

Thank you Teri for this article about loving the' least of these'. It really spoke to my heart today. My husband and I are associated with a family much like the folks you write about. It is so easy for us to see how they could come out of their situation, if they would only change their way of living. But, it's just not that simple. It's so frustrating at times to help folks who seem to be doing nothing to make a change. I have to stop thinking I can fix them but keep praying for them instead. Thank you for your insight and work with the homeless.

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judy
2/15/2014 03:22:09 am

From the first word, to the last, you drew me into this well written, profoundly shared, and inspiring article. God continues to bless you with a heart of gold. I find your journey most interesting and so motivating to me. God has His lights, and His salt, and His ambassadors every where, and your life reflects all of the above in such a beautiful way. Kindness seeps from you, and what could be better than to have you in the place that He does, doing the work that He has for you to do. As His missionaries, we need to see each person with love, with grace, with mercy, and with kindness. You have spurred me onto give more today. Thank you for sharing your heart, the good, the bad, and the ugly of daily life, and yet the surpassing love and grace of God through it all. Only eternity will reveal how God is using you and your life, for His good purposes.

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Ruth
2/15/2014 06:39:22 am

Thanks for sharing this, Terri...you have such a heart for helping others - you have a true mission field right in front of you each time you are at work. You are seeing "through" people - that is a gift so many do not have. May the Lord truly bless your efforts. You have had many tough life lessons - but truly God has brought you through - and now you are reaching out to others. Blessings on you - love ya.

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twomenandtheirladies
2/16/2014 10:16:50 am

I want to thank you for sharing this. It's a humbling reminder that really, we're all the same were it not for the grace of God. And if He loved us so much, how much more we too should show that love. Thank you for doing that every day and for encouraging us to do the same and to depend on God to help us do that.

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Jen
2/16/2014 11:12:03 am

Terri- So beautiful, thank you for sharing these very practical, challenging acts & attitudes of mercy that I surely need to manifest more in my life. So thankful for the ones like you that stand in the thick of it day in and day out.

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Catie
2/16/2014 11:51:36 am

I loved reading this. I love what God has been teaching you and and that you've been allowing Him to heart to break for these women. It's so easy to overlook people, to look down on them, to wonder what it would even do if we helped. And yet none of these thoughts are of God. God is overflowing with forgiveness and unconditional love and mercy, compassion and a listening ear and we all need those things for everyone we come in contact with, especially the ones we'd rather overlook.

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Kara
2/16/2014 08:24:05 pm

Well put Terri, great read!

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Terri
2/18/2014 02:01:02 am

Thank you for your kind words, ladies...we all need to be reminded to share what we have been given. "To whom much is given, much is required..." There's way too much fighting against us these days...it's the least we can do to "push back" with a little toughness of our own. Thanks for your encouragement!

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Annette
3/1/2014 07:11:00 am

This pulls at my heart in so many ways. I would like to talk with you and hear more about opportunities to be a part of this ministry.

Reply
Terri
3/16/2014 07:12:17 am

We are always looking for volunteers...feel free to email me for more information!

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    Terri

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    Having grown up dreaming of being a wife and mother, Terri writes from the experience of having had all those things, only to find herself suddenly single and raising three small children alone. God's hand of Grace and Provision have been a covering over her household. With heartfelt honesty she writes, bringing a message of Hope…and even Life that comes after a deep loss of a dream.Terri draws her Strength from the LORD and tells her story, knowing it is really God's story.  A story of finding unexpected Life when what life throws at you is totally unexpected. Terri blogs over at Consume me. 

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