A few weeks ago we had several days of heavy rain in a row in Eastern PA. Although the rain was a nuisance to general day-to-day activities, it went mostly unnoticed by us. We still had school to get to and work to show up for- the same routine as every other week. Friday of that week was my daughter’s 17th birthday. So we celebrated through the torrential rains because birthdays are meant to be celebrated and not hindered by a little {or a LOT of} water.
However, at the end of that celebrated day, the rain that had theretofore been just a nuisance caused our household a greater problem. We pulled into our driveway after dark, only to find that two of the three bushes that had previously flanked the front of our house had disappeared INTO the basement. Yes, INto. I could see inside the basement from my front walkway. The wall parted right down the middle and opened up wide for the front yard to spill in.
However, at the end of that celebrated day, the rain that had theretofore been just a nuisance caused our household a greater problem. We pulled into our driveway after dark, only to find that two of the three bushes that had previously flanked the front of our house had disappeared INTO the basement. Yes, INto. I could see inside the basement from my front walkway. The wall parted right down the middle and opened up wide for the front yard to spill in.
After a quick diagnoses, it was determined that the rain had caused a sinkhole and pushed in one whole side of the foundation of the house. And since the foundation of the house is pretty important to ensuring the safety of the structure, we were forced out on the streets {not actually- we moved in with my parents} until we could figure out how to proceed with repairs.
Who knew that in order for Homeowner's Insurance to cover the cost of such a disaster you actually have to have a specific policy for sinkholes? You do. And if I were you, I would call your agent NOW and get that little word included in your coverage. Long story, short, we are still here at my parents house.
I’m not going to lie; the first few days were kind of rough. There was a lot of running back and forth to meet Inspectors and Engineers and Insurance Agents. There was a dog left in the house that needed food and attention every couple of hours. There was still school and a job and physical therapy three times a week {My daughter is recovering from a recent ACL surgery}. Everything that I was responsible for before the sinkhole was still there, demanding my attention.
With everything happening all at once, I felt overwhelmed and grumpy and unsure how to handle it all. And for a while I just felt mentally paralyzed. My parents were more than generous with their home and their help. Even so, it took a few days, for me to clear my head and change my attitude. I knew that I could only wallow in the sinkhole for just so long, but I do that sometimes- wallow. Because, let’s face it, sometimes life is hard. And messy. And demanding. And sometimes everything caves in all at once and life is just overwhelming.
Therein lies my moment of choice. I can stay and wallow in the hole or I can take one step at a time and climb out.
What usually pulls me out of the sinkholes of life is consciously reigning in my thoughts and refocusing them off of the rain and the earth sinking around me. And onto something else. I don't do this naturally...I have to remind myself {often} to switch my focus. One of the most effective ways to do that is to focus on being thankful. On giving thanks for what I love and for what I don't. Even if on some days the only thing I can find to be thankful for is my next breath or the sun shining-that’s okay, because it’s something and it’s a start in the right direction. With a shift in my focus and heart I can begin to see the bigger, more important things like the child who is sitting across the table from me and a job that I love. Generous family, friendships and our health. And the list grows deeper and begins to fill the sinkhole with new earth.
I’m not going to lie; the first few days were kind of rough. There was a lot of running back and forth to meet Inspectors and Engineers and Insurance Agents. There was a dog left in the house that needed food and attention every couple of hours. There was still school and a job and physical therapy three times a week {My daughter is recovering from a recent ACL surgery}. Everything that I was responsible for before the sinkhole was still there, demanding my attention.
With everything happening all at once, I felt overwhelmed and grumpy and unsure how to handle it all. And for a while I just felt mentally paralyzed. My parents were more than generous with their home and their help. Even so, it took a few days, for me to clear my head and change my attitude. I knew that I could only wallow in the sinkhole for just so long, but I do that sometimes- wallow. Because, let’s face it, sometimes life is hard. And messy. And demanding. And sometimes everything caves in all at once and life is just overwhelming.
Therein lies my moment of choice. I can stay and wallow in the hole or I can take one step at a time and climb out.
What usually pulls me out of the sinkholes of life is consciously reigning in my thoughts and refocusing them off of the rain and the earth sinking around me. And onto something else. I don't do this naturally...I have to remind myself {often} to switch my focus. One of the most effective ways to do that is to focus on being thankful. On giving thanks for what I love and for what I don't. Even if on some days the only thing I can find to be thankful for is my next breath or the sun shining-that’s okay, because it’s something and it’s a start in the right direction. With a shift in my focus and heart I can begin to see the bigger, more important things like the child who is sitting across the table from me and a job that I love. Generous family, friendships and our health. And the list grows deeper and begins to fill the sinkhole with new earth.
An attitude of thankfulness, even when life is hard and the hole seems deep, changes how we get through a day. It changes how we see things. And it changes how others see us. Giving thanks doesn’t change our life circumstances, it doesn't make the hole disappear, but it changes our perspective and the hole becomes less of a dark abyss and more of a container of Grace.
When I turn my eyes away from the unexpected and disappointing things and cultivate a heart of gratefulness and thanks-giving, my joy returns and what results is a far nicer person to live with. And what had seemed so overwhelming just moments ago actually becomes less unbearable. There's no room for complaining when gratitude is present. We have to choose one or the other. And we have to RE choose it every single day.
Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist, since resentment blocks the perception and experience of life as a gift.
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Thanks-giving isn’t just for the month of November. It’s not just for adults. Or for those who have life all figured out. It’s not just for listing all the good things we can think of. It is also for offering up the hard things. For letting go of the things we don’t understand and returning them back to GOD as an offering. May we never forget that God is still good when people and things and dreams fail. Thanks-giving is for all of us, every day, in the good and the seemingly bad..because it is a key to living our one life well. It is a sacrifice and a choice that honors GOD.
As it happened, about a week after the rain, some wonderful men from my church offered to volunteer their time and expertise to repair the damage to the foundation of our home. They have committed to seeing the project through to completion. By the time you are reading this, the sinkhole will have been filled back in, the foundation repaired and we will be settled back into our home again. I'm looking forward to that and ready to get back to our old "normal" but I hope that this last month has done something permanent in me. I hope and pray that going through another sinkhole in life has made me more of a person of gratitude, and not bitterness. That the sinkhole, and all of the damage that it caused, was not a wasted metaphor in my life. I'll forever be grateful for the people who came alongside us; who encouraged us and worked hard to do what we could not. I got to see a picture of the Church meeting the needs of others. And that is something for which I am very grateful.
We ought to give thanks for all fortune: if it is good, because it is good; if bad, because it works in us patience, humility, contempt of this world and the hope of our eternal country.
C.S. Lewis
C.S. Lewis
{Click on the image above or HERE to view tutorial}
Since we're on the subject of Thankfulness, I thought you might enjoy this simple tutorial. I'm going to make one for myself as a reminder to keep my heart focused on being thankful every day.
Since we're on the subject of Thankfulness, I thought you might enjoy this simple tutorial. I'm going to make one for myself as a reminder to keep my heart focused on being thankful every day.
