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Please Crop Out My Big...

11/16/2013

18 Comments

 
It’s the holiday season!  A.K.A. The time of year when you start getting a plethora of portraits from friends and family on something resembling a greeting card with words like, “Christmas is a time to count your blessings” or “The naughty, the nice and the furry.” (That last one included a picture of a tortured cat in reindeer ears—not that *I* would ever do such a thing!)

Pictures have clearly always been important part of our lives.  A picture makes a memory last, allows children to remain in their childhood long after they’re grown, and marks major milestones in our lives. Snapshots taken for the annual Christmas card have always been a high priority for me.

I used to insist on wearing matching outfits for our annual Christmas card photo, which often evoked comments from the peanut gallery like, “What do you mean I have to wear this sweater?  I wanted to wear my Batman shirt!” or “I don’t like the color red.  If you make me wear red, I swear I won’t smile for any of the pictures.”  Between you and me, I have yet to have any family photo cards that include Batman—though I do have a few that include at least one pouty, uncooperative face. That’s life.

I also tried to schedule our photo shoot for after Halloween.  This is important, because candy talks.  And Halloween candy is FREE!  Far have it been from me to bribe an innocent five-year-old with a Snickers bar—no, I would have never done that.  The chocolate might get on her hands, and then onto her red shirt that she so loudly protested wearing.  I much prefered Smarties and Tootsie Rolls. The houses that handed out decent (non-melting) sweets provided ammunition for us to get the smiles and poses we needed for the Christmas card.  After all, we had to give a merry and bright impression for those on the other side of the mailbox!

Rarely would (or will!) you see me without my camera in hand.  I never want my family to forget the moments of our wonderfully, blessed life together.  However, for many years, I would rather have been seen behind the camera than in front of it.  My struggle with obesity made me cringe at the very thought of being in a photo. When I would allow a photo to be taken, it had to be cropped in particular ways that would make me look “thinner.”  Hello?  Didn’t I realize that everyone in my life saw me in the flesh and knew exactly how I looked?  I wasn’t fooling anyone with my creative photo editing skills.
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A few weeks after having our family photos taken in 2011, I started a journey toward changing my entire life.  It required grace and perseverance, especially as I faced the holidays on a new eating plan.  Was I crazy?!  Didn’t I know ‘tis the season for overindulge, to plan parties that revolve around decadent foods and family meals that make a overflowing smorgasbord look like child’s play?  I knew.  I also knew that I couldn’t start another year gaining the traditional holiday pounds.  I believed, for the first time in my life, that I could choose health AND have a fabulous Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. 

I don’t regret beginning my transformation over the holidays.  I am grateful that, along the pathway toward health I have found hope again, and I have realized that holidays and birthdays are about the people we love, not the food we eat. 

As another holiday season is upon us, I looked back at what I in my journal about that last Christmas card photo shoot I’d have as an obese woman:

I hope this is the last time I have to tell the photographer that I am self-conscious about my body. I hope that I don't have to look through pictures again where my shirt is caught between my boobs and my belly. (Yuck!) I hope that next year I don't have to worry about how I'm holding my head so that I actually look like I have something of a neck. There is so much to worry about when getting a family picture taken when you're 160 pounds overweight!

On the other hand, I hope my family always snuggles in together like we did for this picture. I hope we always smile and enjoy being together. I hope my husband always looks at me the way he did yesterday--with pure love for his wife and the mother of his kids. I hope we all still laugh together and act crazy and pretend we're rock stars or like we're strutting the cat walk like a bunch of supermodels. I hope we never take ourselves too seriously and continue to grow in love for one another and for Jesus.

May this be the last year you hear me say, "Can you please crop out my big..." (You get the picture!)

I am proud to say, that this year’s photography session was an entirely different experience.  I wasn’t self-conscious about my body, which is now over 100 pounds lighter*.  I was thrilled to get dressed and zip high black boots up my formerly rotund calf.  I didn’t force anyone to wear clothing they didn’t want to wear; because, I now know that authentic smiling faces are far superior to a well-coordinated fuax-happy- family.   This time, when I did my strut on the proverbial catwalk, I did it in heels, because now I am able to balance my own body without feeling top heavy.  My renewed stamina and energy took crazy to a whole new level, and I laughed with my children while we found pure joy in just being together.

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My favorite part? My husband still looks at me like he is freshly in love with me.  I also see a new twinkle in his eye.  I think it is from how proud he is of me for never giving up, and for always believing that God can transform the weak places, the lowly places and the barren places of our lives.

Deciding to radically change the direction of my life took faith.  Some days it still seems easier to go back to my old habits and just eat away whatever is bothering me.  But is it easier?  Really?  Not when I think back to what life used to be like when overeating was my default position.  Now, when faced with making a healthy choice vs. a non-healthy choice, I now consider the choice I am really making.  Will I choose to live life to the fullest as I was created to live it?  Or will I go back to compensating for my choices and marginalizing life for me and for my family?  I choose health.  I choose LIFE! 

This year’s Christmas card will simply state: “Wishing you Hope, Freedom & Joy This Season!”  Those words are not cliché.  They are real.  And they are possible to have.  I know, because I’ve found them.



*
Results vary. Typical results 2-5lbs the first 2 weeks, 1-2lbs each week thereafter
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Julie Garner is a certified health coach through Villanova University's Center for Obesity Prevention and Education. She shares candidly about life as an obese woman and the freedom of transformation, as well as supports others as they step toward health and change in their own lives. She is also a public speaker, blogger and writer. She enjoys her life in Lancaster, PA, with her best friend and husband, Dan, as well as their two beautiful children, a dog and two cats. To contact Julie as a health coach or for speaking and writing opportunities email her at [email protected]

18 Comments
Twomenandtheirlady
11/15/2013 08:44:36 pm

Thank you! Being near the end of pregnancy will sometimes make you want to hide...but it's the genuine smiles and love flowing from inside that make the beauty in a photograph. Thanks for the reminder of what's important- health, genuineness...

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Julie Garner
11/17/2013 05:16:27 am

Yes! LOVE is what matter. And I have no doubt you are a gloriously beautiful pregnant woman. Wishing you the best as you near the time when you bring that baby home to your family! Oh, what family pictures will be taken THEN! :) Thanks for your encouragement!

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Terri
11/15/2013 10:03:42 pm

Thanks for joining us this week, Julie...and reminding us that this is not the season for food, it's the season for Hope and Freedom and Family. Also, the smile on your most recent picture is so real and genuine and at peace...love it!

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Christy Zaleski
11/15/2013 11:13:32 pm

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I just began this journey this week and am so inspired by this article. I can totally feel all of your emotions about picture days! The Seasons deserve so much more than what most people make them and I thank you for recognizing that also! I am going to make this work and I am going to have an amazing story when all is said and done!
Thank you again!

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 03:42:43 am

Go, Christy! You can do it!!! And I can't wait to hear your story--I know it will be beautiful. :)

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Shirley
11/15/2013 11:17:30 pm

Watching you transform in body and mind has been a complete joy for me, Julie. Your gift with words makes all of this an even bigger blessing.

I do, however, think that you should let Dan wear his Batman shirt next year.

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 03:43:48 am

Shirley, I couldn't have done it without your love and support!

And...if Dan gets to wear the batman shirt, I get to wear my superman cape!

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Daryl
11/16/2013 01:10:07 am

Julie, This is an absolutely beautiful story of hope and inspiration.....and wonderfully written by the way! Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece!

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 03:44:43 am

So very glad you enjoyed it, Daryl! It was a blessing to be able to share it.

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LuAnn
11/16/2013 01:42:18 am

Julie you are an inspiration to so many. I've so enjoyed watching you change and become the entirely full package of a happy blessed person with the life you deserve. You truly are blessed and are so deserving.

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 03:45:51 am

Thanks, Lu! Love you girl!

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Jaime
11/16/2013 09:30:19 am

Thanks so much for sharing Julie! I loved your article. So happy for you and the freedom, hope and joy you've found :) You're beautiful! BTW, I love the new fam photos :)

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 11:28:37 am

Aw! Thank you, Jaime!

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Dana Parmer link
11/16/2013 09:46:16 am

From one of your biggest fans, I love the joy and light I see in all of the eyes of the healthier Garners. God is good…all the time.

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Julie Garner
11/16/2013 11:30:04 am

We are ALL healthier people now! It's true! Thanks for loving our family like you do. We are grateful.

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Heather Grimes
11/17/2013 03:25:17 am

Once again, Julie, you've inspired me to "Continue On" in the journey to health and freedom! Your family pictures are AMAZING!!

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Julie Garner
11/17/2013 05:14:35 am

Heather!!!! Oh, how thankful I am that God knit us together. I love you, my friend and sister--who I long to meet in person one day, sooner rather than later. Thank you for your encouragement. And we inspired each other!!!

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Trish Stephens link
11/17/2013 09:47:00 pm

I just love to read anything you write. You just have such a gift of really nailing the important things in life. You make me read and re read your thoughts that you share. Your family as well as everyone of us connected together, (see even something so bad that is a constant struggle in our lives has a blessing stuck in it, YOU) benefit from this journey.Thank you Julie for sharing your life and family with me. May God bless and keep all of you through the holidays and everyday going forward.
Shalom
Trish

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