One became owner and operator of a thriving coffee shop at age twenty-one. The other has grown her sign-painting business into a full-time family venture with her husband and three small children. These remarkably entrepreneurial women have more than their successful businesses in common--they share the same parents as well! We are excited to introduce you to Sara (owner of New Holland Coffee Shop) and Aimee (owner of Aimee Weaver Designs), two enterprising yet completely down-to-earth sisters. Read our exclusive interview and be inspired as you consider your own dreams!

Q: What was the dynamic between the two of you in your home growing up?

S: There are seven years between us, so I think our experiences are different growing up. 
A: Yea, there was enough of an age difference we weren't fighting. Sara was the little sister that I always dreamed about having. I was over-the-moon when she was born.

Q:How was creativity and the pursuit of dreams encouraged in your home?

S: I feel like they encouraged us to do whatever we thought we were good at. You were more artistic, Aimee, so they encouraged that...
A: Our parents weren't that artistic, but they always had their own businesses and encouraged us to try something new and to use our talents to the best of our ability.
S: When I got this business they were my number one supporters. The moment I found out about it, I called dad and he was like "Of course!". It was almost like it was no question, if you wanted to try it, do it.
A: They were risk takers and that's how we were raised to be. If you really wanted something, you work hard to do it. They had and have such strong work ethic. Nothing was off limits as far as what we wanted to try. We definitely both got our work ethic and drive to succeed from our parents.

Q: Aimee, as you were watching Sara grow up, could you have imagined her in the role she is now in?

A: Sara was pretty shy and introverted during her teenage years especially, so I would not have seen her interacting so much with people, but she's changed a lot in her twenties and now this is the perfect job for her.

Q: What about you, Sara. What was it like watching your older sister grow into what she's doing now?

S: I think I always admired her, she always seemed like she had it together-
A: Well. Yea. Of course.
S: {Laughing} I was thirteen when she got married, that's a pretty impressionable age. Now she's doing what she's doing,  it makes total sense.


Q: How important has formal education been to your success? 

S: I did two years and got my Associates in Business at Harrisburg Area Community College and that was almost more of something to do in between. Since I was fourteen years old, it was my dream to own a cafe and I began working at a restaurant at age fifteen. I realized I didn't need to go to school for restaurant management (because I had experience), but could use the business knowledge. This is what I always wanted to do I just had figure out how to get here. I had a few helpful classes, but for what I am actually doing now, experience has been the most valuable learning.

A: I just took a year of business classes at a Harrisburg Area Community College. I used to work for my dad as an office manager, so I wanted to learn more. Even now, I am talking some specific online classes that are helping me in my specific line of business.

Q: You are both in different seasons of life, yet both dealing with very demanding jobs. How do you manage the stress?

S: We were just talking about this, because it's been a tough season for me and I find that if I can just talk to people and allow them help me, it...helps, yet it's hard for me to let people do this. My boyfriend Joel is there to support me and my parents are so helpful (they actually work for me!). So I guess I would say the best say to manage stress is just to let people help me.

A: We have a lot in common with this, and even though we are in different seasons of life--I have the kids and all that--it's very similar to what she is going through. We are able to help each other through issues, whether it’s personal or business. And we just really enjoy hanging out and spending time together.

S: Joel often says "Have you talked to Aimee, maybe she could help" and I know she could but I tell him "she's so busy too!". In the five years of doing this, I've come to realize how much I was resisting help at the beginning, but now I realize it IS a lot and I need help.

Q:When your dream was merely a thought, what was your biggest obstacle to achieving it?

A: For me, it (the growth of business) was so gradual. I first started doing it on the side, the kids were home and then my husband started helping me one day a week, moving part-time at his job. We did that for maybe a year. It came to a point we had to decide if we wanted to go all in. At that time I didn't have as much fear as he probably did. He's a cautious person and I like to jump into things a little more. For me the biggest fear was that I wouldn't enjoy it anymore and what if we do this and all of a sudden I hate it and it's all on me. This is supporting our family and that can be a weight on my shoulders. But we came to a point we decided we are going to enjoy this time where we are busy and will just take it one step at a time. And now we work together full-time at home on our business.

S: Right before this (coffee shop) was offered to me I went through a really frustrating time where I thought "I can't do this", because I was here and saw all that needed to happen. I thought there was no way I could do this for a long stretch of time. Yet it was a dream of mine and I felt it was almost something I had to do. I just thought it would be something I would do when I'm forty. I was actually actively pursing other things when they offered the coffee shop to me (at age twenty-one).


Q: What do you think is your sister’s greatest strength?

S: Aimee is great at bringing her ideas to life.  I see this happen not only with her work, but in other aspects of her life too.

A: Sara’s greatest strengths are that she is very dedicated to what she does, she works incredibly hard, she has a deep love for people, and is very compassionate. And she is just so much fun to be around. Everyone loves her. 

Q: Favorite way to unwind at the end of a long day?

S: I usually end up wrapped in my coziest blanket, with a candle burning, and reading travel magazines or working on the Sunday Crossword Puzzle.  

A: I’m naturally an introvert and, because I am with my kids and husband all day long, I love to spend time by myself. Whether it’s reading a book or magazine, watching a show, shopping… I really enjoy and need quiet time to refresh myself. And typically that’s when I feel the most inspired and creative. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy spending time with my family or friends (I do!), but when I need to unwind, I enjoy solitude. 

Q: Who have you gained inspiration from as you pursued your individual dreams?

A: I’ve gotten a lot of inspiration from other women online who are in the business of creating things to sell like I am. Many of them are very generous in giving business advice on their blogs, which is so helpful. Some of my favorites are Lisa Leonard (www.lisaleonardonline.com), Marian Parsons (www.missmustardseed.com), Jeanne Oliver (www.jeanneoliverdesigns.com), and Emily of Jones Design Company (www.jonesdesigncompany.com). 

S: My parents have definitely inspired me to pursue my dreams in business since I saw them work in small business while I was growing up. My customers also inspire me.  I am passionate about listening to people, and in my work I am able to hear stories of so many different people.  I feel honored to be able to be part of their lives in some small way.

The cursor is mocking me again, flashing rhythmically in the face of my ignorance.  The ubiquitous, blinking line anticipates my words, but I have none. This morning the page glows white, empty as the coffee mug beside me, reminding me that while I may seem qualified to write on the topic, I am nevertheless an adoption amateur.  Sure, I can dish out advice on fundraising and agency hunting.  I can quite easily construct a witty “how to” article on navigating Costco unscathed by the onslaught of obliviously inappropriate transracial adoption curiosity that seems to pool in its aisles.  I can climb atop my well-worn soapbox to remind an audience that orphan care has little to do with parenting children and so much more to do with ending the cycles that produce parentless children like poverty, prejudice and disease.  I can fool readers into believing that I am an adoption authority, a voice to be heard on the subject.  My resume supports the assertion, but reality proves I’m a novice.

My roles as an adoptive mother to two precious children, a writer and speaker on the topic of orphan care, and the manager of a growing adoption grant fund, do not an expert make.  No matter the many angles from which I observe the process and lifelong journey of adoption, I can never see it through the eyes of my babies, the ones who confronted confounding pain and abrupt loss as they emerged screaming from a womb that did not swell below my rib cage.  In a mutually beautiful and devastating exchange, my children have been transplanted.  And like an organ that’s been removed from one body and placed in another – there are adjustments, side effects.  Both external and internal scars exist.  The possibilities of rejection, acceptance, restoration and malfunction commingle.  Only time will tell what results of the event.  Though I explore, and diligently research, best practices for optimum healing – I remain clueless.  I simply cannot understand or experience adoption in the way that my children do and yet I have sole charge of mothering them into adulthood, guarding their hearts and protecting their intimate histories in the meantime.  This realization is as equally tremendous as it is terrifying.

The conundrum of adoptive parenting is to sensitively supporting our children as they traverse the peaks and valleys of their story. Often we fail the task, turning their pasts into our platforms and promptly taking membership in the “Offended Adoptive Parents Club.”  While our kids quietly mature in the awareness of their beginnings, we make war against public affronts of both ignorance and innocent curiosity.  We publically share our experiences, on any number of forums, commiserating on the exasperating (and sometimes sanctimonious) duty of ours to educate the imprudent world on adoptive-parent-approved vernacular and etiquette.  We claim that we are fulfilling our roles as adoptive parents, that we are simply protecting our children from the onslaught of discourtesy that threatens to pollute their otherwise perfect childhoods.  But, are we sincerely shielding the adoptee on every occasion?  Or are we sometimes simply defending our own ideals and perspectives?

Several weeks ago an adoption video went viral.  It compared adopted children to breast implants and challenged viewers to refrain from asking any question about adopted children that they would not also inquire about fake boobs.  For example, “Where did you get those?  Are they real?  How much did they cost?”  While I’ve most certainly been accosted with those very inquiries in reference to my colorful family, I did not appreciate the clip.  The tone was antagonistic, devoid of grace, and the comparisons disrespectful.  However, many adoptive parents did enjoy the piece.  They praised it, posted it and shared it on social media.  They commented about their mutual experience, offered additional associations (equating FAKE boobs with REAL adopted children!!!) and vented about the nerve of those outside the “Offended Adoptive Parents Club” who were, whether by lack of personal experience or tact, not well-versed in proper adoption lingo.

I observed the social media frenzy through the screen of my smart phone with fresh eyes, convicted by how quickly I have raised my own figurative fists in response to the sometimes-nosy, sometimes-interested adoption questions of strangers.  I admit that I’ve many times found relief in the realization that other adoptive families experienced similar circumstances and sometimes even chuckled at the recounting of their peculiar and disastrous conversations.  But lately, and it’s about time, my security in the adoptive parent “community” has become strained by the awareness that my children will one day become adults. Soon, it won’t matter what I thought best, or was advised by my parenting comrades, to reply to the elderly woman who pointed at my son with shaking, wrinkled hand and mumbled questions about his native language and former living conditions.  What will matter most is how my adopted children would have liked me to respond, how they perceived the interaction, and what wounds were exposed from the words that were exchanged.   

Viral videos, ranting blog posts and amusing adoption-related articles are largely produced by adoptive parents, for adoptive parents.  These “resources” may serve to incite a good laugh, but they do little to provide knowledgeable guidance and acumen on the more delicate matters and less cultivated terrains of the adoption journey.  While most of us know, with some degree of certainty, the excitement of losing a first tooth or the shame of wetting a bed long after we’ve been potty trained; not many of us have personal experience as an adoptee.  It follows then, that we cannot confidently anticipate or completely empathize with most of the adoption-related issues and emotions that our children will encounter.  Yet, we seldom pursue guidance from those who can.

A number of adult adoptees have gone before our beloved ones.  They are the forerunners for our children.  But their voices are often silenced, their stories disregarded, by the throngs of adoptive parents purportedly eager to defend them.  Rarely, do we consult these experienced individuals or glean from their knowledge, instead satisfied to advise one another from our own limited assumptions.  Why are many adoptive parents content to overlook the opinions of actual adoptees when it comes to the adoption language we encourage or the media we promote?  Have we ever stopped to consider their input or read their responses to some of our well-meaning behavior? Why is it that we are more enamored with “humorous” breast to baby comparisons than documentaries like the one detailing an Ethiopian adoptee’s desire to return to her homeland or the one following an adult transracial adoptee who is reunited with her birth family?  Do adoptive parents truly want to be educated or would we rather be entertained?  As long as we remain the prevailing resource in the orphan care and adoption community, our wisdom will be partial and ineffectual at best.  At worst, it will be painful and destructive.  It is this humbling realization that draws me to my knees. 

In my quiet moments with God, while my heart whispers prayerful petitions for wisdom and experienced counsel, He reminds me of His great love for my children.   As I earnestly plead with Him to teach me how to prevent the wounds of rejection and loss that threaten to assault my little ones, the Spirit speaks of Christ’s resurrection.   “I have already overcome.  You need only to point them to me.”  He believes in my kids.  The God who formed them in their first mother’s womb trusts in their ability to wrestle with the circumstances of their past and emerge victorious.  Yes, He has commended them to my care and has given me grace to partner with Him in their nurturing.  But, he has also equipped them personally, through the Holy Spirit, with hope, strength and wisdom for their journey.  “Follow their lead.”  I hear Him say and I am all at once reminded of the little child who overcame the world, not with sarcastic quips or arrogant slights, but with merciful love and humility.  His gentleness confronted the most violent of assaults, His peace is what won the battle. 

“The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.”  Isaiah 11:6

I am an adoptive mother, and I am a novice.  With this revelation, I respectfully relinquish my prideful position as educator and choose instead to be a student.  May I seek not the counsel of fellow pupils, but the wisdom of the experts, two of whom are seated at my kitchen counter.  While my fingers tap into words the inadequacies of my adoption understanding, they are gabbing over milk and oatmeal.  Their little legs are swinging freely from the bar stools, drumming the cabinets with alternating thumps.  The cursor, still blinking, beats in time with their percussion – no longer mocking my ignorance but applauding my confession: I AM AN ADOPTIVE MOTHER, AND I AM A NOVICE.

Below are some adult adoptee resources (most are also linked within the article) to consider:

1.        Girl Adopted: http://worldchannel.org/programs/episode/girl-adopted/

2.       Closure: http://closuredocumentary.com/

3.       Lost Daughters Blog: http://www.thelostdaughters.com/

4.       Transracial Adoptee Roundtable on Viral Video: http://www.thelostdaughters.com/2014/04/adoptees-round-table-discussion.html

First things first, how in the world did you find the time to write a book with 3 children (all boys!) under the age of 9? 
It’s so funny that you ask that question because that was one of the fifteen reasons I gave God for not being able to write this book when I felt Him nudging me to start writing.

I told God how writing felt big and time consuming, and ultimately I felt unworthy, very unworthy. I asked God tough questions like, “Lord, how do I do this and do everything else? How do I continue to parent my children (the very thing that makes me feel the most alive), remain present in their lives AND write a book?  You planted a passion in my heart for adoption- how does writing this book fit into that mission? Where do I even begin Lord?”  And while I was pouring my heart out, these gentle words pierced the chaos swirling around in my head - “You say yes, you just say yes.”  He was simply asking me to say yes, and trust Him with the rest. 

I knew that writing this book would require sacrifice, and I asked God to make clear where He would have me push the “not now” button in my life.  I had to remember that I wasn’t forever saying no to these things, I was just saying “not now.” God showed me areas where I would have to push the pause button in order to not sacrifice my sanity or my cherished time with my family.

As I look back over the writing and publishing process of this book, I can see how incredibly gracious my family was with me.  My husband was so supportive, so generous, so understanding, so loving.  When I needed to sneak away for 4 hours on a weekend to write, he always said “go for it honey.”  I never could have written this book without him.   

And ultimately, I think what really made it possible was that God often made minutes feels like hours.  The words were pouring out faster than I could type.  Never before had I been so reliant on the Holy Spirit to guide me because the only words I wanted on the pages of this book were words inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

What did you think you would never ever do as a mother - but now do?
I never thought I’d feel so free to say to my kids "Mommy is so sorry. I am not who I want to be today. I want to do this differently, and I need Jesus to help me. Please forgive me.”

I used to carry so much shame over my parenting mistakes.  If I lost my temper, said the wrong thing, or wasn’t 100% available to them, I felt so much guilt. I was trying so hard to be perfect for them.  But as God began to invade and arrest my heart with the knowledge and experience of His grace for me in all of my sin and imperfection, I was set free to confess my weaknesses to my kids and seek their forgiveness. Knowing Jesus loves me just as I am and accepts me in all of my imperfect parenting frees me to love my kids just as they are, in all of their imperfection, too!  And God is melting us and molding us into His image through His grace, not through my tireless effort. Now I find so much freedom in saying, “Don’t look at mommy for your perfect example, look to Jesus. As much I love you with every piece of my being, I am human and I will let you down but Jesus never, ever will.”

In your book, Parenting the Wholehearted Child, you write this about the importance of extravagant grace:

“See, I used to think that my primary role as a parent was to model Christlike character for our kids, and when I failed, I would beat myself up. But the more I grow in my understanding of grace and the unconditional love of Christ for me, the more I realize that while Christlike living is important, it is even more important that I be authentic about my trust in and need for Jesus.” 

Why is this concept so important for parents to embrace as they consider the heart of their child? 
When I’m honest about my need for and trust in Jesus it gives my kids permission to also be honest about their weaknesses and sin and need for and trust in Jesus. We come before Christ side-by-side and ask for His Spirit to continue to live in us and through us to produce the fruit of God’s love in our lives. 

When we do this, my kids are set free from having to perform for me, to pretend like they have it all together, to get it right all of the time. Even better, they know they cannot make God love them less through their good behavior and they can’t make God love them more through their good behavior. He died for us while we were still sinners, not after we cleaned ourselves up and repented. (Romans 5:8)  And the cool thing is, knowing this wild grace is what actually melts our hearts and inspires repentance and holy living. 

I’ve seen God’s grace so beautifully displayed in my children’s lives by their willingness to seek forgiveness from one another, and their desire to be reconciled with one another. There is no shame in confessing our wrongs because we know we have a Savior who loves sinners and is eager to forgive us and mold us into His image.

You lost your home to Hurricane Sandy. What did your children teach you about resilience and hope in that situation?
Oh my. Where do I even begin? I know I’ve gotten a lot of things wrong but what our experience in Hurricane Sandy taught me was that we’ve done a good job teaching our boys that tangible things will come and go but the love between us is steadfast. As long as we were together, they were happy.  For five months we lived in friend’s basements, guest rooms, and guest houses, and our kids just rolled with it. Though they grieved the loss and were often very reminiscent of what life was like in our old home, they weren't worried about tomorrow. They were thankful, and they fully trusted Mike and me to provide for them. Their trust in us inspired me to trust even more in Jesus- I often thought of the verse “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him?” (Matthew 7:10-12)

Have your kids ever looked at you like “Who is this crazy woman?” And if so, why?
Oh yes, when I sing too loud to Chris Tomlin songs and raise my hands in worship while I’m cooking breakfast, they look at me like I’m nuts.  I’ve convinced myself they actually love it, but it’s cool to pretend mom’s a dork.  

But to share a more painful story -  I remember times during my days of perfectionist parenting when Cal, in particular, would have tears in his eyes when I would come down on him too hard.  It still breaks my heart (eyes filling with tears even now) to think about the pressure I put on that precious boy at such a young age to be a perfectly obedient child (only because I was putting so much pressure on myself to be a perfectly obedient child of God - we can’t give grace when we aren’t receiving it ourselves!) I know those days are covered in the forgiveness of Christ and Cal knows now that he is loved unconditionally, but if I can help another mom who is just in the very beginning of her journey, I share this story in hopes that it will inspire a more grace-full approach, even in the earliest days of parenting.  

How can we protect our children’s hearts and minds in the midst of things like cyber-bullying, wayward teen pop-stars and the exclusion of faith from schools? 
I think the answer to this is just as relevant for a six-year old learning he didn’t make the cut for the soccer team he was praying he would make, as it is for teens facing cyber-bullying, and as it is for defeated moms competing for perfect parent of the year award.

If we try to define ourselves as anything other than “radically accepted and beloved child of God” we will despair. When we look to anyone or anything else to affirm our worth, our value, or our significance we will despair.

Only when we remember that the creator of the universe loved us enough to send His one and only Son to be crushed for every single thing we would ever get wrong, will we realize our true worth, value, and significance. 

When the world tells you that you aren’t good enough (to play on the 6 year old soccer team, to sit at the cool table at lunch, or to be invited to the luncheon with all the other “perfect moms”)  you must remember that the only one who gets to define you is the one who created you and knows every hair on your head and every thought in your heart, and he calls you “perfectly and wonderfully made” (psalm 139).  Nobody else has the authority to define you.  Jesus alone holds the authority and he calls you “fully known, fully accepted, and fully loved child of the Most High King.”

When we allow that grace to burn into our hearts, we will stop trying to prove our worth and value and we will live fully in the freedom Christ purchased for us on cross. We must ground our children’s identity in Christ by teaching them what He did to prove His love for them. 

Fast forward: What do you want to overhear your 16 year old telling his friends about his mom? 
That she loves Jesus more than anything else and he thinks that's pretty cool. And that he’s always known, on his best and worst days, how very (very!) proud I am of him.  

Just as Jesus delights wildly in being our Heavenly Father, I want them to know how much I delight in being their mom.

As I’m sure most of you know, it’s 2014! That means that it’s time to make some crazy promise to yourself about fitting into your pre-baby skinny jeans or boycotting sugar at least for this month. Right!? Wrong. 

At the end of each school year—after grades are entered, textbooks re-shelved, the little white orbs of paper from the 3-hole punch vacuumed up from the floor one final time—I like to take stock. Of me, of my family, of the greater world around me. And this year in my stock taking, I was frustrated. In reading a bunch of other "mom" blogs, there's a continual discussion about how to "have it all." And I'd like to submit that this whole idea of "all" is rubbish.